promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

heartbreaks:

*lies in the sun for 5 mins*

wheres my tan

easied:

*this pizza serves 4-6 people*

bitch, the only person eating this pizza is me

frowl:

i am three years behind in my math homework

frlcker:

do u ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in